Sunshin3

The past three days have been hectic with various impromptu meetings at the Westin hotel and the tight deadlines that the boss gives.

It irritates my emotional and mental state that i am reduced to tears at times from the frustration and lack of system. She could call and expect me to turn around 4 sets of documents within an hour with no margin for error.

And the clerk that we hired to assist us in administrative duties isn’t exactly what i would call help either.

I am amazed at how common sense eludes people these days and she unfortunately, happens to belong to this group.

Never have i met someone so foolish in my life before.

It was hilarious all right, resulting in one of her admirers walking away in a huff.

Or so, i heard. I was too busy attending to guests to even notice that most of our original duties were forsaken.

I guess you could say we had a successful event, judging from the turn out of more than 250 people. It wasn’t easy getting the number as our original list had more than 600 invitees.

But we did well and the boss is satisfied.

before the game of deception begins.

It has been a mad weekend and the event is finally scheduled to happen tonight.

Probably one of the highlights will be seeing how a certain acquaintance deals with time management.

She has invited all her boyfriends save for one and bearing in mind that all her boyfriends are hot shots in their respective fields, i wonder how is she going to entertain all of them without them being aware of each other’s existence in her personal life.

Hilarity ensues.

Are the duties of a girlfriend and a wife the same?

I have been doing much thinking as my relationship with Old boy has left me with a sweeter taste of love and a beneficiary of lowered expectations. As unhealthy as the relationship seems, i found stability with him.

I know it’s ironic but when i mean stability, i mean that i don’t find myself having to second guess him every time and neither do i find myself wrinkling my face in disgust over his character flaws and wanting to change him.

I’m happy with what i got.
Friends of mine know that i take self-reflection quite seriously and i don’t like to take people for granted.

Coming back, i realise that i have no guidebook on what it means to be a girlfriend even though this is not my first relationship.

I have a lot of books on the duties of a wife and expectations in a marriage context but none on expectations in a dating relationship. There’s none written and i wonder if it is because of society changes etc.

Nonetheless, Old boy and i had a good talk today and i am appreciative of his inputs as to whether i have fulfilled my duties and performed adequately as a girlfriend. His honesty with me is one of his strengths.

If i choose to take this further, i will also have to take his brutal and blunt statements like “i don’t count it as a relationship yet as a relationship has expectations that i can’t meet. We’re friends who just fuck,” or even this, “the novelty of fucking you will wear off.”

Of course it does hurt. Like a needle poking into your tender muscles.

Old boy also admits that he’s not an easy person to live with and he can be very critical of his partner.

I am a woman and an emotional creature, albeit a stronger version and if i do flinch at the above statements, i am sure that many other women will flinch too.

But i am taking it in my stride. It’s not about pride or stubbornness or the “love makes you blind” saying.

Where i come from, it’s about awareness in the choices i make. I don’t want to make the same mistake twice.

A check with Old boy over dinner ascertained that we have indeed tried the ‘venus butterfly’. He looked really cute impersonating the finger actions that i would have almost did him there and then.

But hungry tummies and common sense took first place in my analytical realms.

I hate propriety sometimes. They take away all the fun and passion.
Anyway, my stress level has reached a culmination and with the event happening next week, most of us involved have been clocking in more than 12 hours a day. Although it’s nothing compared to his schedule, another colleague and i realised that we have kinda been taking a rather perfunctory attitude towards this event.

It’s not necessarily a good thing especially when we’re kind of the co-organisers.

The exposure is good and so are the type of people who are coming for the event but i don’t feel a sense of satisfaction at being able to get 300 confirmed attendances within two weeks. Maybe it’s the knowledge that it’s a fucked up event with an equally fucked up management making the core decisions.

Perhaps.

Possibly the only good thing that will come out of it is that i finally get the chance to meet the man who will decide my future in Abu Dhabi. I am entrusted to take care of his needs, including needs that are non-related to work during his stay in Singapore.

Sigh, talk about self-sacrifices man.

Ooh..

Have you had your venus butterfly already?

What was created good can be a stumbling block at times.

Our sheer determination to get things right, our high level of tolerance for anything painful or bad for us, our willingness to keep trying etc.

All these are qualities or virtues that are good but not healthy when taken to an extreme and i think most of us would have been to that extent before.

I am feeling pensive of late because of certain events which have led me to the melancholic state.

Cowboy says that sadness is for weaklings.

Whatever the case, i know that i am one.