So many things have happened of late that it makes it virtually impossible to type something legibly or coherently on the blog without wondering where to start first.
There is the thing that we have started investing in stocks. We chose UOB Kay Hian since UOB was the bank of choice for both our investment/savings accounts.
And then, there is the other thing about the offer from the American law firm on terms too attractive to reject.
And of course, we have life with Old boy that is sweet and pleasing even on mundane matters. I really do enjoy going back home with him, being cuddled in his strong arms and having someone that I can fuss around.
I guess despite the darkness of events currently at work, there is still a silver lining after all.
I had fault in making Old boy grouchy.
Things in the office are really unstable and I’ve lost control of my work. Apart from the production, I’m tasked to handle the after-production party as well as another dinner to be held in London. As helpful as hotels are, the menus, the seating plans, the programme highlights still require my handholding until the events are over.
Plus I have Project Alphabet and Project Clean whose closing transaction dates are on 31 October 2007. What makes it difficult is that the lawyers for the transactions aren’t exactly clear about what they have to do.
Because of this instability, I’ve been quite moody too in no certain ways better than Old boy.
But we had a good talk over phone calls and lunch to air it out.
Amongst other things, he isn’t very optimistic of our future although he concedes that I could help influence the thought process.
It’s interesting to see him in my position once in a while. By all counts of logic, we shouldn’t be together but I’ve given up arguing with whatever’s left of my brain.
Honestly, I’m not very sure if I’ll be around that long too but it’s a risk I’m going to take.
I have no more energy left to even want to think, much less blog about it.
Old boy’s been having mood swings of late.
He was awfully quiet last night and hostile to a certain extent, unlike the night before when I was in his arms.
To say the least, I am emotionally disturbed as a result.
Yet, the reasons and well justified too, only occurred to me this morning.
What an oof I am.
Truth be told, I have been sniffing around for a couple of openings and have gone for three interviews last week and all three have been pretty successful.
In fact, I have been informed that one of the firms is actually tailoring a benefits package for me.
It is an employee’s market out there and with so many firms offering more than what I’m actually getting, I start to question if I’m honestly underpaid although salary isn’t exactly the motivating factor for the move.
I guess part of the problem is I’m no longer satisfied with where I am. I’m no longer happy meeting the demands required by people. I no longer want to make her happy.
Half of my time in office is spent doing mindless coordination and I feel like I’m not utilized fully.
It’s like a relationship gone bad.
Where two people no longer share the same ideals.
Actually, that’s what I really do when I’m frustrated with work. It’s 9pm and there are still 31 emails waiting for me to open them.
And I haven’t had dinner as well. 
Old boy has learnt that terrible habit of mine too and he has started searching for “Seinfeld”, “Whose line is it anyway” or “Tina Fey” on Youtube and I only found that out when I had to take impromptu leave yesterday when Old boy fell sick with gastric flu.
I am lucky that I was crazy enough to head back to our home at 6.30am in the morning en-route to work to look at him.
His face was pale and he was just so weak. I know the office isn’t exactly happy regarding my urgent leave measures for there was work that seemed important to them that required me to manage but I couldn’t care less.
I think I’ve exercised adequate work responsibility by working from home.
“There are more important things in life than just work,” my CEO often told me, “Our jobs are for bachelors and spinsters” was her next common catchphrase.
So anyone interested in taking over my post?
A close friend of mine told me this morning that he had just proposed to his girlfriend of more than 8 years with a S$6,000 (0.5 carat) diamond ring.
And it’s not even from Tiffany.
Good grief.
I’m happy for him although i quite disapprove of the exorbitant amount spent on ONE ring but I’m sure he finds that she’s worth every penny of his.
Oh well, value is subjective.
All the best and congratulations, JP!
Nabei cheebye.
I should have just agreed to attend that french ballet performance tonight instead of waiting around the office, only to realise that someone screwed something up somewhere.
What a fucking bad way to start a weekend.
I am really pissed man and this frustration has been accumulative.
To the point where I know my vessels have contracted, blood is not flowing through and I am having a terrible headache.
Yet, knowing Old boy who probably wouldn’t have enough energy to go for the treetop walk tomorrow morning, I think I’m better off running around the estate to release the anger and frustration.
Or a walk on the beach.
Sigh, it’s so hard to be positive in the light of so much negativity.
Sometimes i wish i could just follow Mama’s advice of putting a pail on top of my head and scream my lungs out but yeah, i know.
I refuse to look so stupid.
The grass on the other side suddenly seems a lot greener.
I have been with this company for close to 15 months and I think I have proven to them my capabilities. Unfortunately, what I desire to learn is far from being realized due to many factors and my bosses have mixed views on where they want me placed. I’m not being treated badly, just being under- utilized, which is quite frustrating sometimes.
Being young has got many advantages and disadvantages. Sometimes I wonder if it was worth giving up so many opportunities.
From the time I started working full time, I have given up the opportunity:-
1. to work in Zurich;
2. to be groomed to be a director (TSK and ML will probably remember me very well); and
3. to be ‘Professor’s’ understudy.
Somehow I’ve always allowed myself to be trapped by my fears and commitments.
Part of me wants to move early because I know that I may have to take a demotion in terms of pay and rank to pursue what I want to do and my boss is smart enough to realize that. She has purposely pushed me up in terms of designation, and pay and I am forced either to move along this line for the next five years at least or to continue with her forever.
In the words of LeAnn Rimes,
“And I can’t turn back now
’cause you’ve brought me too far”
Truth be told, I think she has got better faith in me to help her with her business as compared with her children and probably, at a lower pay too.
As much as I may want to try something more focused with legal, are my ambitions good or is it a false imagery of something deeper?
Other than the issue below and my itchy-scratchy moments due to an alleged food allergy, it’s been a relaxing weekend for us both.
We caught I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry at the Cathay on Saturday (it’s a terribly cheesy movie, don’t watch it) and spent the Sunday afternoon subjecting ourselves to the fight for humanity in BattleStar Galactica.
Thanks to my wonderful commentator beside me telling me the difference between BSG in the 1970s and the 2004 miniseries, I am addicted to the show. Never was I left bored, except for last night’s rugby game between Fiji and South Africa.
Mightily boring game it was. I swore I was dozing off even before half time.
Nevertheless, we managed to kick off the couch potato habit and took a lovely stroll around the neighbourhood in the dusk before managing five flights of stairs. The evening usually ends with a back and shoulder massage for him before i whisk him off to bed.
It’s a simple and unimpressive weekend to some but I like it.
Hearing the woes of some of my married female pals have with their husbands, makes me appreciate him a lot more. Appreciate the fact that he’s different from other males, appreciate his loving ways towards me, appreciate everything about us.
I indulge in moments looking at him, stroking his hair and cupping his cheeks when he’s asleep. He usually just fidgets slightly before kicking me off the bed.
And i guess what a friend of mine said was right; that the power of touch holds an amazing power to it.
