Sunshin3

The grass on the other side suddenly seems a lot greener.

I have been with this company for close to 15 months and I think I have proven to them my capabilities. Unfortunately, what I desire to learn is far from being realized due to many factors and my bosses have mixed views on where they want me placed. I’m not being treated badly, just being under- utilized, which is quite frustrating sometimes.

Being young has got many advantages and disadvantages. Sometimes I wonder if it was worth giving up so many opportunities.

From the time I started working full time, I have given up the opportunity:-

1. to work in Zurich;

2. to be groomed to be a director (TSK and ML will probably remember me very well); and

3. to be ‘Professor’s’ understudy.

Somehow I’ve always allowed myself to be trapped by my fears and commitments.

Part of me wants to move early because I know that I may have to take a demotion in terms of pay and rank to pursue what I want to do and my boss is smart enough to realize that. She has purposely pushed me up in terms of designation, and pay and I am forced either to move along this line for the next five years at least or to continue with her forever.

In the words of LeAnn Rimes,

“And I can’t turn back now
’cause you’ve brought me too far”

Truth be told, I think she has got better faith in me to help her with her business as compared with her children and probably, at a lower pay too.

As much as I may want to try something more focused with legal, are my ambitions good or is it a false imagery of something deeper?