The reviews for GTA 4 have been hard to ignore, especially after hearing a friend talk about his alter ego in the game. The ability to be rash, to hunt down and gun down carelessly, to speed around recklessly and be the rebel without a cause.
Who wouldn’t want to step into another person’s shoes for one night?
I do believe we all have a kid in us.
Not the childish part of playing with dolls or playgrounds but the desire to be young because you know you’ll be forgiven for most of your mistakes.
Yet, there’s always a thin line between reality and fantasy. And i know for one, that i do have problems with self-control.
Eunos was where it all started and Eunos was going to be where it all ended.
The landlord needs our room for his mom, which in effect, has also given Old boy the catalyst to move back home.
So i guess this is it.
The finale of everything. The culmination of sorts. Or simply, the end.
I still cried like a child crying for her favourite toy. The frustrations we both put up with, the memories that we shared, the events that we have gone through together, and not to mention, the fun of just lazing around in each other’s arms, or the laughter from tickling each other.
As a couple, as a partner, as a friend.
This is the final goodbye.
This solo trip to Bali was better than i expected. I probably did some of the craziest and silliest things i ordinarily would have never done, like parasailing, teaching a bartender how to make lime margarita, smoking Sampoerna cigarettes so that the pesky flies would leave me alone and zipping around town on one of the local’s motorbike.
But the best part of it all was finally finding my peace.
With a capital L.
As usual, there are tons of changes that i grapple with on a daily basis. One of which, is the loss of freedom to enjoy and be myself.
Wala is no longer the same after some incidents. I can no longer go there with the usual people nor can i even be there without feeling a sense of loss.
Somehow, i am made to feel that i chose this path even though i was just exercising my right and freedom to choose. It is honestly sad that things have turned this way. No matter how much i want to make people happy, i often end up the one to have the bitter taste in my mouth.
If any, at all, it makes me wonder if sacrifices were meant to be liberating.
Like LBT, when work hits you, and hard if i may add, you don’t have time for any of your leisure activities, so which means, i’ve not tried any new food stalls on the block nor have i watched any movies to provide any reviews.
But Chuck, that new show on AXN, looks quite promising although i much prefer watching Jon Stewart’s Daily Show and his disses on America’s politics.
Mothers’ Day was spent typing cover letters for Old boy while he painted the town red. He didn’t exactly paint it red, but he was out and i’m not resentful, just stating the obvious. Anyway, i needed that break. After that horrid evening last night with the dreadful winds; not sleeping well and all, some silence was appreciated.
This week’s probably going to be the same numbingly dull week, with my involvement in some matters that requires my execution of a non-disclosure agreement.
I leave for Bali on Friday evening and will return on Monday. Senior and i are headed up to the rice fields of Bali. It will be my first time to Bali after the Tsunami in 2004.
Honestly, what’s really bugging me is that, i hope we get separate rooms.
In the midst of dealing with the craziness of the Integration project and a couple of securitization agreements, i have totally forgotten that i will be departing for Bali next Friday.
Damn, talk about a holiday that doesn’t feel an inch or even an ounce exciting.
I guess it’s the company that i’m going with.
Bugger!
It is one of those rare occasions that i have time to do anything but the damn heatwave makes everything irritable to me.
Guess i’ll just stay home and practise my drumming.
There are many of them around, with the famous ones in Ang Mo Kio, Hougang and Golden Mile Tower. At a recommendation of a colleague, i went to see one of them based at Golden Mile Tower. He’s a geomancer but apparently, a famous and accurate fortune teller who reads fortunes by using a turtle shell.
I’m skeptic but at the same time, in need of direction and answers for certain matters.
The methodology was simple. After writing down your birth dates and chinese characters, he puts three golden coins into an empty turtle shell, shakes it and thereafter hands it over to you for your turn to shake it. I was told to think about the matter i wanted to seek direction on, shake the turtle shell and throw out the coins into a bowl. This whole process repeats itself 6 times.
My fortune for the year was told after some immense calculations that didn’t made any sense to me. It was going to a difficult year for me; my health would suffer; there will be changes either in my job scope or office location in the later half of the year and as to the answer that i was really seeking for, fate was against us but we would never be able to break away.
And in all ambiguity, his final words to me were,
“Some things in life, after obtaining it, may not be what you want and some things in life although lost, may not necessarily be regrettable either.”
